sales is a spiritual practice

Yeah- I mean that. Sales is a spiritual practice. There is not much inside the sales cycle that you are actually in control of. Nearly all of it will go smoother when you are in a state of surrender.

Gross, right?

Unfortunately, I have yet to meet someone with a career in sales who doesn’t have a pile of trauma, insecure attachment, overing, performance based worthiness wounds and/or trust issues. Because who else would choose a career with as much instability as sales?

Usually we think we can control the outcome, and often times it really seems like we are doing just that. If we grew up in an environment that trained and rewarded hyper-vigilance, that translates into anticipating the customer’s need. Wowee- such great service. If we only knew calm and safety when everyone else was ok, then yes we do respond all hours, not take time off, put work first. Wowee- what a dedicated employee. That same skill set means we can see problems before they happen most of the time. We don’t rest until a problem is resolved. We can even think we are so good at managing others emotions we don’t notice we are actually being manipulative. Or worse, maybe we recognize we are. Hopefully if that is the case, you are using your powers for good.

Here’s the white hot truth- we can’t see around corners. We are not in control of much. Metrics and forecasts and reports give a false sense of certainty around something that is for the most part, nebulous.

Your cold calls and emails? You can make them, but you can’t control if someone answers or responds positively. Inside your control- making the outreach. The outcome? Surrenderville.

Having the best pricing, having the best solution, getting the buy in from ALL of the decision makers- all outside of your control. How many times has a Jane or John Doe come out of no where and completely derailed your sale? For me, more times than I can count. Like what do you mean we have been talking about this project for months and then your CEO randomly goes to a conference and now everything is dead, you’re “going in another direction” and we are not a fit? Cool. Wish I could say I didn’t just describe a scenario that all the real ones have lived out before. If you haven’t, either teach me your ways or you’re still new.

The statistics that are thrown out around this say a third of your deals will push, (to another month or quarter) a third will die entirely, and a third will actually close.  So the solution I have always been given is to just have even MORE in my pipeline. Like I don’t have to admit powerlessness, I just need more opps. Ha! Are you laughing out loud? Because I am.

How, when, if a deal closes are all in the category of not in my control. So what to do? Because if you feel insane trying to keep all these plates spinning- welcome- that’s the appropriate emotional response.

You turn it over.

God, Higher power, universe, vibes- whatever you call it- turn it over to the thing that is outside of you that can handle the bits you cannot. This is the only way I know to protect my serenity and my sanity. This is how I keep from the burnout I have deeply experienced in my sales career. And guess what? When you are calm and centered, you will sell more. How about that? When you are calm and centered, you can see solutions to problems that aren’t possible to see when you are in the soup. Hey guess what else? Usually when someone is coming to you to buy something, it’s because something isn’t working for them. Something is broken. Something needs to change and people don’t like the process of change. So they are likely in a state of dysregulation. When you don’t get into the boat with them, when you are steady, you have the opportunity to build trust quickly. Trust, in my experience, is what closes the sale.

Step one- pause. You don’t have to respond immediately. It’s actually better when you don’t. Run a quick body scan. If you are in a heightened state, do not respond. Notice where your feet are, take a few deep breaths, say a prayer (serenity prayer on repeat for me) have a song that gets you back to center, whatever it is- find a practice that works for you. I also will use chatgpt or some other AI tool in these situations a lot. Let the machine edit you and fix your tone, then review and make it sound like your own voice.

This goes for responding to your client, your boss, your coworkers, and even yourself.

Step two- ask if it is truly inside your control or if you are powerless over the thing. Nine times out of ten, the thing giving you spaghetti brain is probably outside of your control.

Then you may need to go back to step 1. Sounds like a lot of “inaction” I know. Here’s what has happened for me- more sales than I can even make sense of, more peace, and more capacity to continue to up level.

Here’s a teaser to the next battle boss- accepting sales I don’t feel like I have “earned” because they were easy. Because they just came to me. Because my name was spoken in rooms I wasn’t in. Because I landed in the right place at the right time. How do you think that happens?

Several years ago, I began changing my language around some stories that were ingrained in me. “Money always shows up for me” and “I have plenty of time” were two big ones. When I said them at first they felt like big fat lies. I had mounting evidence that proved otherwise for both. Then one day I looked around and they were both true.

When you begin practices like this, do not be surprised when a challenge comes in to see if you are serious about this new way of doing things. When that challenge comes, smile and double down on your centering practices. You’re expanding. This is a good sign. More on these practices next time. For now, just notice your body and when you need to pause. You’re doing great.

Sending lots of love and signatures. Bye for now.